


tied up in knots

by Emilys_List



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Episode: s04e22 Commencement, F/M, Missing Scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-04-14
Updated: 2004-04-14
Packaged: 2019-05-15 19:35:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14796627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emilys_List/pseuds/Emilys_List
Summary: I wish I could tell her that I'll stay away from him. That I will back out gracefully, and she can have him all to herself. But the reality is that this isn't some television show.





	tied up in knots

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

**tied up in knots**

**by:** emily’s list

**Pairing(s):** josh/donna  
**Category(s):** romance.  
 **Character(s):** amy and donna  
**Rating:** MATURE  
**Disclaimer:** i do not own any character mentioned or portrayed in this story. if i did, the show would probably not be allowed on network tv ;)  
**Spoiler:** commencement, and a vague one for dead irish writers  
**Summary:** I wish I could tell her that I’ll stay away from him. That I will back out gracefully, and she can have him all to herself. But the reality is that this isn’t some television show.  
**Author's Note:** know there are approximately 30 million "are you in love with josh?" fics... but i felt that i had to weigh in. let me know how it went: emilieh@eden.rutgers.edu 

I ask her. 

Donna says nothing. 

"I’m sorry," I say almost immediately. 

I never say I’m sorry, especially to a woman who’s trying to sleep with my ex-boyfriend. 

She said to me, ‘You have to get Josh.’ She attempted to insult my entire relationship with the jackass, so I asked her the question I’ve been dying to ask for two years. I asked her to wound her, but I don’t know what she’ll say. 

Plus, I ask her because we’re both getting a little sloshed. I’m not entirely in control of... who am I kidding, I would’ve asked her, six beers in my system or none. She’s been silent the whole time, and we’ve fallen into ignoring each other. 

"You know what. Nope. Not sorry. Tell me, just tell me right now." 

"No." 

"May I ask why not?" 

"I have work to do." 

"It’s okay, Donna. You can say it. You’re in love with him, and you hate that he and I were dating." 

He sends her flowers. Every April. I don’t know why, but this is the second year that I witnessed it. The flowers are long gone, but I stare at where they sat a month ago. He never sent me flowers. Then again, we aren’t like that. He gives her flowers and he worries about her and he buys her beautiful, thoughtful Christmas presents. 

We have heated discussions that always become foreplay. He kisses me with all of his soul. We have amazing sex, which I prefer to an enormous arrangement of orchids. That was this year. Orchids. So maybe I snuck a look at the card. What? It’s a free country, and it was just sitting there in a closed envelope. 

"Donna, Your rather hostile request that I discontinue this tradition has been ignored once again. I don’t have words for how grateful I am to you. While these flowers don’t even begin to say what I need to say, I hope it’s a start. To the better half of Josh & Donna. Happy Anniversary. Love, Josh." 

Right. And she’s the kind of woman who would definitely fall for that shit. 

Whenever I went to see him in April, the bullpen reeked of orchids -- even after the flowers were gone. Sitting in the bullpen now, I can smell only smell stale coffee, and alcohol on my breath. While I spaced out, she went back to ignoring me. 

"Donna, it’s okay to be in love with your boss. I’m sure there’s lots of potential for hot sex, sweeping papers off his desk, the whole shebang." I mouth that word, shebang, to myself. 

"You’re drunk, Amy." 

"Remember the last time you and I were drunk together. You insulted Abby, that was... fun." 

"What if I said I was in love with Josh. What would you do -- would you tell him?" 

Interesting thought. "So you do." 

"I’m not in love with Josh, Amy. You should just drop it." 

I look into her face. She is so young, I notice now. I mean, I knew she was younger than me but this is too much, being replaced with this preteen. She’s not wearing make up. Yeah. Now I hate her. 

"I can’t drop it, I’m not holding it." I start to giggle. "But seriously, Donna, you should probably tell me. Are you and J sitting in a tree, K-I--" 

"Oh, God, please stop. For the love of everything that’s holy, just shut up." 

I gape at her for a moment. "Okay." 

"Thank you." 

"But can I just ask--" 

"No. You may not. Sit there and be quiet." 

"Yes, ma’am, Commander Moss." Giggle. "Hey, whatever happened to Jack? He was cute." 

"He was transferred to Italy," she sighs. 

"Did Josh do that?" 

"What? No..." 

"I just ask because he had more than one nutty on the topic of Jack." 

"Really?" Now she’s interested. I sigh. 

"He would bounce around my office bitching about Commander Amazing." 

"Commander Wonderful." 

"Is that what you called him in bed?" 

"No. That’s what Josh called him... you know, now I have a disturbing image in my mind." She leans back and rubs her eyes. "I called him Jack. He was good for me in a lot of ways." 

"Yeah?" 

"He was. He called me a month ago-- and I don’t know why I’m telling you this." 

"No, no, share. It’s like girl talk... although I’m not really sure what that’s like." 

"Jack was in town two weeks ago." 

"And you didn’t see him. You missed a prime opportunity for a booty call." 

She looks blankly at my nose, and then rolls her eyes, in what I suppose is disgust. 

I open another beer. I’m starting to feel pretty good right about now. "So what’s up with dating people who look like Josh?" 

She looks uncomfortable, but she also looks like she’s pushing it down. "They don’t." 

"Cliff looked like a third rate Josh Lyman." 

"How do you know about Cliff?" she asks sharply. Oops. 

"J didn’t tell me." 

"Yes he did." 

I hang my head in shame. "Yes he did. And Commander... Wonderful -- doesn’t look like him, but let’s just say he does for the symmetry of the thing." 

"Maybe you’re just seeing Josh in every man," she says lightly. 

"No I’m pretty sure you’re screwing guys that look like him." 

Donna looks like she’s going to argue with me. But she just slouches in her chair. "It has nothing to do with him," she says weakly. 

I take a sip of my beer. "Josh is good in bed." 

"Amy--" 

"I’m just passing knowledge along. The owner’s manual. The Idiot’s Guide to Fucking Josh Lyman." 

"I don’t want to own Josh." 

I raise my eyebrow. "Yeah, but you want the other book don’t you." 

She moves like she’s going to get up. Like this conversation has just become too inappropriate for her to engage in. But she stays put. "You wrote that book? That’s very industrious of you, Amy." 

I stare at my beer for a moment. Then I drink most of it in one huge gulp. Okay. Now I’m game. "He likes to be tied up." 

Donna isn’t looking at me, she’s looking down at some paperwork. But I can see the subtle reaction on her face. 

"Yeah," I continue. "He likes that quite a bit. Tied up with his silk neckties. There’s this one spot behind his knee, and if you lick it, he will practically--" 

"Amy." She says my name warily. She’s not angry, she’s not jealous; she’s just tired. 

I wish I could tell her that I’ll stay away from him. That I will back out gracefully, and she can have him all to herself. But the reality is that this isn’t some television show. It would be easy to cast me as the bitch, but it’s not that simple. I love Josh. I’m not nice and sweet like Donna, but I care for him. 

"Donna, I was just kidding about the ties. Although the knee thing..." I just stop talking. She closes the folder she was looking through. And when she looks at me, I see a woman who likes me and despises me for having once made Josh happy. 

Or maybe I’m wrong. Of course they have a relationship, but maybe it consists of platonic love and respe-- 

No, she definitely wants to fuck him. 

"Amy. I don’t... you wouldn’t understand." 

"That’s a convenient way to deal with that." 

And then her cell phone rings. "Josh... Calm down. What--" Her face pales, and she looks at me. "How did this-- okay... I’ll take care of it. I’ll be waiting." 

"Waiting for what. Are you two crazy kids planning a rendevoux?" 

Apparently what I said wasn’t funny. 

"Zoey was... kidnapped," she says hollowly. I stare at her, and I nod. Because I can’t think of what else to do. "She was at a club. One of the agents on her detail was shot." She gets up and goes into Josh’s office. I stare at the wall. "Amy." 

"Yeah." 

"You need to go to the Residence. You should sit with Dr. Bartlet." 

"’Kay." I get up slowly, but I can’t leave the Bullpen. 

I have changed that child’s diapers. I took her out to lunch a week ago; I teased her about the French guy. And now she’s... wherever she is. I should ask Donna what she knows. Huh. 

Suddenly, she’s at my side. "Amy, I know this is a shock, but you need to deal with it quickly. The Bartlets need you." She gives me a small, painful smile. 

And I realize why he’s in love with her; which is quite the inopportune moment to come to this realization. Zoey Bartlet was kidnapped, and she’s visibly upset, but she snaps into panic mode for the good of others. 

The good of others. Something I have limited experience with. 

"If you need anything..." she trails off. She shrugs. "Call me." Donna goes back into Josh’s office, and I can see her darting around, getting things accomplished. 

I start to walk towards the Residence with a heavy heart. I envy her right now, for more reasons than one. 

THE END. 


End file.
